So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
