i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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