I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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