I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
