Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
