is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
