I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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