I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think im going to throw up on grandma
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
