Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
