the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
