Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
