Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
