Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
