4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
