He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
