Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
