Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
