on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
