It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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