I'm passing your future prison.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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