I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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