you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
