just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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