i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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