You just made me feel so damn special
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
