Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
