I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
