She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
