why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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