While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
