I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
