my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
