im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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