If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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