It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
