But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
