problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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