i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
