Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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