So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
