Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
