so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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