I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
