im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
