ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
