He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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