Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
