dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
