k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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