chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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