i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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